At this time of year, everyone talks about  their resolutions, or aspirations. I hear people also wishing for things in ways don’t always achieve the feelings they seek. As a matter of fact, the wishes, without action, often make them feel sad, or resigned or hopeless because they don’t move to make the wishes come closer to realities. They envy others. They compare themselves and wish for something different.

Listen, it sounds something  like this: I wish I were…and rest of the sentence is filled in with things like, “employed again,” or “I wish I were making more money, “ or I wish I were younger,  or have more time, or thinner, or taller, or even wishing that “I were happier.” But the wishing alone doesn’t cut it. And yet,  people think that by saying and wishing these things, magically they will happen.

Try it. Just wish away, “I wish I were….” and see how you feel. You decide.

On the other hand, there is another way to  pick up your spirits, energize yourself a bit more, begin to appreciate what you already have, take it from the opposite side. Look at it as an alternative to the “I wish” song and try this new tune.

Try this sentence completion: “I am glad I am not…”  and see what happens. Yes, “I am glad I am not….” takes a whole other view of your life.

When times are tough, most people yearn for a better time, a better feeling. Most people don’t realize that they have much more than they realize and the way you can discover it for yourself is to fill in the blank,  with your own words.

You might find that you fill it in with “I am glad I am not sick,” or if you are not well, “I am glad not alone …” or “I am glad that I am not 23 years old anymore because I have wisdom,“ or I am glad that I am not house-bound,” or even better,  “I am glad I am not worse off  than I am and as so many others are.”

You see, I had a grandfather, whom I called Poo ( because that is what came out when I tried to say Grandpa)  who used to tell me that there were many less fortunate than I and he made sure that I learned it. He would take me on subway rides in New York city, that still had leather straps, which I could not reach and we walked through very poor neighborhoods. Other grandparents might take their grand kids to shows and sightseeing highlights, but instead,  I saw people living in slums,  in  clothing that  were in tatters, where holes in pants were not designer-placed but from the fact that it was a third hand-me-down. It was a huge eye opener for a young girl of nine or so.

“Just remember, Judy, you are a lucky girl and appreciate what you have.”

I suddenly in that moment realized that I was making myself miserable because friend of mine got a fancy pair of dress up shoes and I wished for the same. Oh it hurt, how much I wished for them. So, those subway day trips taught me a very important lesson. It was simple yet profound:  the greatest way to make yourself feel miserable is to compare yourself with those who you think have it all. It’s a sure fire, guaranteed 100% non failure rate process to make you feel “less than.”

But, if you try the other side, and begin thinking about “I am glad I am not…” then your spirits may change, lift up and bit and get you ready for taking action on the wishes that you have for the New Year!

“The contented man is never poor; the discontented never rich.”—George Elliot

Oh and Poo would have been pleased for you, and so will you.

Happy New Year to all!

©2010 Judy Rosemarin